Breaking the Ice. How to Make the First Move.

Breaking the Ice: Statistics

Breaking the ice, according to surveys and statistics, is done mainly by….drum roll….men.  So ladies – if he hasn’t mustered up the courage to talk to you just yet, be patient.  It means he still hasn’t recovered from the last time(s) he was let down.  That said, statistics show that compared to men who didn’t make the first move (46%), those who did (76%) are happier in their relationship.  Some statistics say less than 1 in 10 women make the first move.  Huh? So only part of you is approaching the guy?  What’s the rest of your body doing?

Before we update you on the latest strategies, we thought we’d give you some pointers from the players with experience.  Up in Rhode Island, Jesse & Nichole recently got engaged.  From their story, we learn that what you look like or what you’re wearing can help break the ice.  Here’s a portion of their interview.

How Other Clubwaka Couples Did it

Jesse: “So, after the games, we’d go to Fountain Street Grill, that’s our sponsor bar. A guy named Tom, who is still on our team, pointed her out to me and said that girl likes gauges and mohawks – which I had at the time. Not even 20 seconds later, she walked up to me.” 

Nicole: “He was wearing a shirt…so I play in Worcester as well, sometimes. So he had a Worcester shirt on, and I poked him in the back and said, “Do you play in Worcester?” (she and Jesse laugh) “And that’s how I broke the ice.”  


Meanwhile, in Virginia, Jennifer said Brian got connected through a mutual friend.  But Jennifer says Brian didn’t do much ice-breaking when standing face to face.  She offered this piece of advice we reshared in a recent Facebook post.

In Las Vegas, Alex knew how to keep the heat going with what we’ll call the coldest ice-breaker ever (in a good way).  He agreed to do what some call the worst job on a kickball team.  Equipment Manager.

“Alex didn’t care what the job entailed; he was excited to work closely with me,” said Jill.  Smart guy.  It worked.

Breaking the Ice in 2022

The above examples are very situational.  So if you need some other sure bet ice breakers, here’s what’s new in 2022.

  • (Men) Understand the Psychology:  You are opening yourself up for evaluation, judgment, and maybe even heartbreak by making the first move.  It’s ok.  Given the statistics, if it weren’t for men trying, no one would be dating since women rarely make the first move.  Besides, your fear of rejection is perhaps the opposite — fear of a match made and potential commitment.  The point is, get out of your head and make the first move.  You’ve got nothing to lose. By the way, you don’t have to beat around the bush.  She knows you’re not there to ask her directions or if she can recommend a good dry cleaner.  Opening Line: “Did you know that men make the first move 90 percent of the time?”
  • (Ladies) Equality Rule: If he just doesn’t seem to make the first move, then the ladies do have a power card to play.   Walk up to the guy and say, “It seems statistics show fewer than one in 10 women make the first move so I’m trying to move the needle in the other direction. Can you help me?”  Use the statistics to your advantage.
  • Text Him/Her: Assuming you can get his or her number relatively easily, text something “I’m texting to let you know I’m interested in chatting.  Is now a good time?  I’m at the table closest to the front door of the bar.”  When he or she looks over, waive.  Just don’t make it creepy.
  • (Men) Three Look Rule: If your eyes meet once, it’s normal.  If twice, it’s a coincidence.  If three times, it’s a sign. If four times, you blew it.
  • (Both) This or That?:  We gamify everything else in this world, so why not make the first move? Pick two things of similar nature and ask the other to pick.  Waffles or Pancakes?  Mountains or Beach?  Prenup or  No prenup? KIDDING on that last one…for now.
  • (Both) Reveal Your Core Values:  If you share similar core values, there’s an even better chance you’ll hit it off, and the relationship may last.  If your core values aren’t aligned, this may not be your person.  You can learn more about discovering your core values here.